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Why I Had A Mental Breakdown

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I would like to start off by apologizing for my absence.. I’ve never had to de-activate my social media platforms before but recently I have been a victim of personal attacks. Also with the brewing transgender bathroom controversy, myself and other members of the community have been made a target. Not only was the internet being unfair, but other problems in my personal life got to me. I’m not one to fall back into my shell over a few ignorant words but lately the negativity has taken it’s toll. I try to show a brave front but the truth is, I’m a person and I have my own weaknesses as well. I have grown pretty thick skin over the years, but some days I feel weaker than others and when bad people know that.. It’s not okay. They took advantage of my vulnerability and it caused me to derail and go off course.
I am beyond embarrassed to confess this but I want to be truthful to you all.. I hit rock bottom. I had a mental break down, relapsed and turned to my old bad habits of downing sleeping pills with hard liquor. I did not eat. I did not see day light. I did not want to talk to anyone. I was at my lowest point. People see me to be this cheerful happy person but when the sky gets dark, it gets really dark. However, moving forward I will not read too far into the comments, flip my hair a little harder and remember all the people who are standing with me. We don’t let anyone dull our shine honey boo boo.
Last but not least, the most important. My loving, caring supporters and friends who have reached out to me in all forms of communications. Comments, e-mails, texts and phone calls. Thank you so much for all your positivity, you all have reached out your hand and helped me get up. I don’t know how I could ever thank you all enough. You guys have reminded me of who I am, and where I come from. I’m the girl that went to hell and back a couple times and guess what? I’m coming back this time as well. I’m stronger than this. We are stronger than this. Thank you again from the bottom of my beating pink heart.
Love always, Julie.

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